Tuesday, April 11, 2006


You are a sex symbol if you read this

Scott Adams wrote this great story in 1995 Men Who Use Computers Are The New Sex Symbols Of The `90s. Some highlights below that prove that you are the most sexy being alive:

... women prefer men who listen.  Computer users are excellent listeners because they can look at you for long periods of time without saying anything.  Granted, early in a relationship it's better if the guy actually talks.  But men use up all the stories they'll ever have after six months. If a woman marries a guy who's in, let's say, retail sales, she'll get repeat stories starting in the seventh month and lasting forever.  Marry an engineer and she gets a great listener for the next 70 years.

Plus, with the ozone layer evaporating, it's a good strategy to mate with somebody who has an indoor hobby.  Outdoorsy men are applying suntan lotion with SPF 10,000 and yet by the age of 30 they still look like dried chili peppers in pants.  Compare that with the healthy glow of a man who spends 12 hours a day in front of a video screen.

It's also well established that computer users are better lovers.  I know because I heard an actual anecdote from someone who knew a woman who married a computer user and they reportedly had sex many times.  I realize this isn't statistically valid, but you have to admit it's the most persuasive thing I've written so far.

If you still doubt the sexiness of male PC users, consider their hair.  They tend to have either:  (1) male pattern baldness -- a sign of elevated testosterone -- or  (2) unkempt jungle hair -- the kind you see only on people who just finished a frenzied bout of lovemaking.  If this were a trial I think we could reach a verdict on the strong circumstantial evidence alone.


Finally, there's the issue of mood lighting.  Nothing looks sexier than a man in boxer shorts illuminated only by a 15-inch SVGA monitor.

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